When a manipulative Congress hands you lemons, screw the lemonade!
Instead, get out there and get yourself some fresh-squeezed muscle and nutsac juice, I always say (...during any government shutdown).
I recommend the following guys as guides to what one ought to be aiming for when looking for quality muscles and nutsacs to squeeze.
OH! And if a HUGE slab of man boner happens to keep hitting you in the chin as you're squeezing other parts, just OPEN WIDE and suck on it. You know, as to get it out of the way and to keep it from bruising your chin or somethin'.